My Boyfriend Wants An Open Relationship, But I Don’t — Ask Dr. Rue

So, my boyfriend of three years recently told me that he wants an open relationship. If that wasn’t bad enough, he brought it to my knowledge in a way that makes it seem like I have no choice but to accept this.

Particularly because he appears to already be talking to someone else, which I found out about when he left his Instagram account logged into my phone. When I confronted him, that’s when he let me know that he wants an open relationship.

He can be a bit aggressive sometimes when he wants something done his way. I mean, he doesn’t do something as bad as punching me or hitting me or anything like that, so I guess it could have been worse. But, since this whole thing, he’s been saying really mean things to me about myself, and I guess what I’m asking is, how can I let him know that I don’t want to share him with someone else, without him getting too upset about it?

- Worried In Love, New York

Hey Ms. Worried In Love, let’s dive in a little in this situation.

You ALWAYS have a choice. No one can force you to accept something that is not of interest to you nor should you allow it. Love can be a tricky thing, but never should it be only about one person. The issues here are a bit more complex.